Sporto's Christian Comedy Adventure

Well I see it's been to long since I've posted here.  The throngs have requested more posts, and I shall try my best to oblige.  


Why is the word abbreviation so long?

Tim Hawkins is one of the fastest rising Christian comedians.  He's a specialist with songs. Check out some of his work.

Being a social person is not one of my strong points.  This being said, one of my least favorite parts of a morning service is the "meet and greet" time.  Some people just soak it up, running from person to person with big hugs and strong handshakes.  I, on the other hand, am feigning interest in reading the bulletin.  Of course I already read it before the service, but the secret is to appear as if you are looking for some vital information.  Ah yes, let's see...  the Wednesday night bible study is on...   Wednesday night!  What a surprise!  Hmmm, did they print the correct date?

Many things have happened over the last decade. We've had a couple of kids, and made some minor improvements to our house.  One of the additions we enjoy is a cedar deck off the back of the house.  If you have the pleasure of owning a cedar deck, you know one the drawbacks is the maintenance.  I have seen many stains promise a long lifetime, but it always seems we have to redo it every year or two.  I am constantly on the search for a product that will give us a good three or four years.  Maybe next year I will find a new deck aid.

Although Christmas is set in tradition, I find I am constantly learning new things about the holiday season.  Being a fan of Charles Dicken's - A Christmas Carol , I was interested to learn a new fact about the famous Scrooge.  Apparently before his miserly ways, he was brought up in a fine God fearing home.  His father was even a writer of hymns. Last Sunday I found this out as I sang the hymn (seemingly written in London), "Here I raise my Ebenezer."

Yes, it's getting near Christmas time.  What does that mean?  It's means schools across the country are getting geared up for their Christmas programs.  I know for sure the one song that all the kids are excited about singing is Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.  Not  necessarily because it's a catchy tune, but because of the funny stuff they get to interject  in between ( "like Monopoly").  The sad part of learning humor, is though it may be new and exciting to you, it might not be new to the majority of people.  I can see a lot of kids thinking, "wait till Mom and Dad get a load of these funny things we say in the song, "like a lightbulb!", they're going to go through the roof!"  Unfortunately the laughter they hear is not in response to the "unexpected lines", it's in response to the remembrance of how we were just as excited in our youth to preform that same song.  They'll probably have the same experience in twenty or thirty years. This post will go down in history, just like Columbus did! Wooo haha!! Good one!!!

Caesar was probably one of the most prominent people in ancient history.  How has this person who ruled a vast empire affected us today? If Caesar were to suddenly return to our present day, he might be surprised what he is best known for. 
Caesar: "Am I still famous?" 
Me:"Of course you are, there's Caesar's Palace. "
 Caesar: "That must be where the current ruler lives, I suppose?"
 Me:  "Ummm, It's a casino for gambling."
Caesar:  "There must be something else..."
Me: "Yeah, there's an alcoholic  drink made with tomato and clam juice."
Caesar:  " I don't even like clams! There must be something I'm more famous for?"
Me: " Yup, it's called a Caesar Salad, it's got dried up bread bits in it."
Caesar: " I hated it when they served me that in Rome. The only guy who liked it was one of my buddies .  I'd always give him mine. I'd tell him, ' Eat two, Brute' ."

I have often heard a complaint from the pulpit that it's a shame that people get all excited at a Super Bowl game, but aren't as excited that Jesus rose from the dead.  I disagree with this comparison on a couple of points.  First of all, the Super Bowl is something live happening before your eyes, and the resurrection happened 2000 years ago.  I don't think the Miami Dolphin fans are still whooping it up in the streets over the 1974 Super Bowl win.  If I was a witness to the resurrection, I know I would be running as fast as I could with excitement along with John and Peter.  I believe Jesus doesn't want a hyped up crowd, He want's committed hearts.  I actually think that sports hype is often more genuine than church hype.  If your team scores a goal or a touchdown, your outward reaction is genuine, from the heart.  I often wonder how much of the outward reaction is genuine at church.  Wow, I think this is my longest post yet, you'd better take a nap after reading this one.

Well the votes are in for the Russell Peters Best Funny Five contest.  I guess Russell  won't have a christian comedian opening for him.  Here's my final tally:


Votes for Sporto's Comedy Video: 1
Views of My Video: 25


It's now down to the final ten top vote getters, from which Russell will pick one.  Some in the  top ten got as few as 75 votes to get in.  I think I might have been able to rustle up that many votes, but I wanted to try win the contest on the merits of humor, and not get friends and family involved.  The one vote?  I think it was from a bald guy who's name rhymes with Borto.  All the best to the final ten. 

Sometimes on the weekends, I like to get small projects done.  After having trouble moving several large rocks, one of my buddies suggested I rent a small bobcat to move them.  "It'll take no time" , he said.  I had a really hard time tracking one down, but finally I was ready to use the bobcat.  As soon as I opened the cage, it ran off into the woods.  I don't think I'll get my deposit back.